


Love Is For Children

by KimchiAndPasta



Series: A Song Of Fire And Ice [25]
Category: fosterson - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grieving, Loneliness, M/M, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 12:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19109281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimchiAndPasta/pseuds/KimchiAndPasta
Summary: Thor is trying to process the news he recently got from Jane.





	Love Is For Children

_I love you so much that I hurt you and I'm sorry._

 

Thor sat on the roof all alone. That was one of the perks of living at the Tower. When you wanted isolation, the roof was the most isolated area you could find. He needed some alone time to remember how to breathe. He needed guidance; assistance; anything. He loved Jane and he didn't want her to die. He wanted to be a parent with her. Now, he is at the risk of losing the love of his life AND their child. This was breaking him. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. 

 

"I can't do it." Thor sighed into his hands. "But Sigrid needs me too. Jane needs me. The baby needs me."

 

Thor turned his head slightly to see Loki's shoes. He sighed. Loki was the last person he wanted to talk to. He didn't hate his brother. He was just... exhausted. He wasn't in the mood to fight with Loki. He'd rather take on Tony. He wasn't in the mood to feel anything. He just couldn't..

 

"I'm not angry." Loki says in a low voice.

"What do you mean?" Thor snaps.

"I was angry at you for a long time. Even before my little Sigrid was ever born. Back when you tried to save me."

"Loki, are you serious? You're bringing this up now?"

 

Thor stood up and faced Loki with a rage that Loki hasn't seen in a long time. But he knew how it felt. He'll always feel it.

 

"It's okay." Loki took a deep breath. "I know it seems like the end of the universe but it will pass."

"You have no right to tell me that." Thor yelled. "You have no damn right!"

"I'm trying to get better. I reunited with Tony."

"Like he's any better. He's a miserable alcoholic."

"And you have a dying, pregnant lover."

 

Thor was angry. He wanted to call Mjolnir and just swing at anything. But he needed to be strong. If he wasn't, he was scared to see how deep he'd fall and never get back up.

 

"I can't do this." Thor's voice cracked. "Sigrid, you and Tony, Jane and our baby. I just can't do it."

"I won't tell you to not take my baby." Loki began to say. "But I'm here for you, Thor. I am trying to get better. If I get better, then Tony will get better. And I know how it feels. To fall in that dark hole and never want to come back."

"Loki, just stop."

"You just want to curl into a ball and wait for the world to disappear. Maybe if you don't feel anything, the pain won't be real. But take my experience, it'll make it worse. Tony and I are not in a good place. But we're trying. And I know you've always been so good for my little Sigrid. Don't put her and Jane through what I did to her and Tony."

"What in the Hel am I supposed to do?"

"Break."

 

Thor looked at Loki. What in the Hel does he mean 'break'?

 

"Don't hold it in. If you need to break, just break, Thor." Loki pushed. "Look at me. Look what not breaking did to me. To the love of my life and our baby. Be strong but don't pretend you're not hurt or scared. Cry with Jane. Hold her so tight you break her ribs. Kiss Sigrid until she suffocates. Just make sure you don't destroy yourself in a way that destroys everything around you. Pain needs to be felt but don't let it destroy your life."

"I can't-" Thor sobbed. "I just can't."

 

And in the first time in a long time, Loki hugged Thor until he stopped shaking.

 

_I don't want you to go where I cannot follow._

_I love you so much that I'd rather be a selfish lover than a good man._


End file.
